Dolores Hart

Driving to the airport at an unfortunate hour last week, I became fascinated by the rebroadcast of a 2007 BBC interview of Dolores Hart. I had never before heard Ms. Hart's story. For those as uninformed as myself, here's the terrible abbreviated version.

1) In the early 1950's and 1960's, she was a Hollywood starlet with two leading rolls opposite of Elvis.

2) At 24 years of age (1962), Ms. Hart walked away from her career and her fiancee to become a nun (listening to Ms. Hart recall her emotional struggle to make this decision was captivating).

3) 40+ years later, she has reentered the public sphere as an advocate for those suffering from peripheral idiopathic neuropathy, which she herself battles. As far as I can tell from two minutes on wikipedia, she remains the Prioress of the Abbey of Regina Laudis in CT.

Anyway, in my favorite part of the interview, Ms. Hart described how she went through the motions of monastic life for months while battling doubt and fear. When asked how long it took until she no longer felt like she was "performing", Ms. Hart replied that she is always performing. She went on to explain that she is always seeking to perfect her thoughts and actions to the greatest extent possible.

I'm enamored by the concept of "performing" as a Christian, or striving to act faithfully in spite of doubts and fears. I don't think this interpretation is perfectly consistent with what Ms. Hart meant, but her interview has been resonating in my thoughts. Regardless, it reminded of one of my favorite books. In The Sparrow, the protagonist confronts disillusionment after a lifetime of "performance" results in great tragedy. The persistently dark tone of the novel surprised me. It's difficult to overstate how relieved I was when I discovered the sequel that redeems (at least partially) the malignancy of the first book. I would highly recommend both books to anyone.